Pretty Little Liars recap Season 5, Episode 21: There will be blood

This week’s episode of “Pretty Little Liars” was a reminder that for all of his or her pun-filled texts and well-placed notes, A is really dangerous.

In the wake of last episode’s revelation — that Mona had only intended to frame Ali for her murder in an effort to unmask A — Aria worried that her brother was next on A’s hit list. The fact that Mike was nowhere to be found didn’t help matters.

[Last week’s recap: “Pretty Little Liars," Season 5, Episode 20]

Hallmark doesn’t make an “Our bad. You’re totally innocent” card, so the Liars (save for Hanna) paid Ali a visit to tell her that they knew she wasn’t the one who killed Mona. Ali appreciated the news, but warned Aria that she’d have to tell her lawyers about the new information. Aria begged her to hold off so that she could make sure Mike didn’t end up in A’s cross-hairs as a result.

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Veronica Hastings found out about Ali’s expanded visitor’s log and ordered Spencer not to return to the correctional center. She felt so strongly about it that she called Wren and asked him to set up an interview for Spencer at Oxford. The girls weren’t so happy about being down a Liar, but Spencer reasoned that she had no choice. Hanna, voice of actual reason and amazing one-liners, suggested that Spencer tell her mom the truth and ask for help. Such a novel idea!

Of course, Spencer stayed mum and went to London, where she was supposed to be staying with on-again couple, Wren and Melissa. They were away, so their flatmate, Colin, played host and crammed an inordinate amount of British slang into one scene. He also advised Spencer to read up on Oxford’s course offerings and to make sure her mobile (long i) phone didn’t ring during the interview.

Spencer’s cell phone was the least of her worries. As she charmed the Oxford professor with her vast knowledge, blood began leaking out of her bag and onto the floor. After making a quick exit, Spencer had a full-on panic attack and opted to go home immediately, though she managed to make a pretty funny joke under pressure: “This is just what it looks like when I pack!” Colin helped Spencer calm down with a deep breathing exercise, which anyone would need after seeing the text that Spencer got from A: “Keep calm, but watch your carry-on. There’s more blood where that came from.”

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Across the pond, Aria was also witnessing some of A’s handiwork. Aria found out that Ali’s career criminal frenemy, Cyrus, had ended up in a hospital after an accident. She dragged a reluctant Hanna along to visit him in the hospital, in hopes of finding out A’s whereabouts. Turns out, Cyrus was in the burn unit and not doing very well at all. He managed only to say that what happened to him was no accident and to write down another clue: Carjack.

Make that Varjack. As in Paul Varjak. Hanna remembered that Ali was obsessed with “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” and concluded that the misspelling means that Cyrus hasn’t had any written communication with A. But it’s likely that they’ve spoken. After Hanna and Aria left, one of Cyrus’s fellow patients made a miraculous recovery and approached his bedside. I’m betting that someone is A. Goodbye Cyrus, we hardly knew ye.

Meanwhile, Emily navigated the treacherous waters of the beauty pageant circuit. After being told she was a strong contender for the pageant title, Emily got some bad news: the pageant sponsors were nervous about a contestant with such close ties to Alison DiLarentis. Luckily, Talia was there to make an overwrought speech about the American judicial system and suggested that the sponsors might just send Emily a check in place of letting her compete.

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Some things about Talia: she opened up to her husband about her views on their relationship, which led to their separation. Talia also quit her job at The Brew. For now, she’s staying at Emily’s parent-free house.

In other relationship news, Aria thinks she’s probably, maybe still seeing Ezra. But when Andrew invited her to go see “All the President’s Men” (good reference, PLL) she had to confront the non-tutor vibes he was throwing her way. I was puzzled when Andrew explained the movie to her as if she’d never heard of it , but I did a double take when Andrew described it as being “about getting messages from a shadowy figure who knows everybody’s secrets.” Do you know more than you’re letting on, Andrew?

Though they agreed to go as friends, Andrew was clearly excited about going out with Aria. So excited, that he let himself into Aria’s house. Good thing he did because Aria took a nasty fall while trying to use Mike’s weight bench to reach something (A-related?) on his wall. Andrew notes that the nut doesn’t match the bolt and that had Mike tried to lift weights, he would have gotten crushed. Maybe it was the sprained ankle or her relief that Mike wasn’t hurt, but Aria let the tears flow. Then she let Andrew kiss her.

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I’m not sure how I feel about Andrew and Aria (Andria? Kidding!) But Aria was smart enough to sort of take Hanna’s advice and talk to someone who could help. She “hired” Veronica on a $1 retainer to try and find out how much trouble Mike could be in for lying to the police (the verdict: a lot).

That conversation may have inspired Veronica to visit Ali. She asked why Spencer and the girls would bother to visit. Ali insisted on her innocence and told Veronica that she wanted to take the stand in her own trial to tell her version of the story. When Veronica reminded Ali of the many lies she’s told, Ali appealed to Veronica as a mother. “What would you say to Spencer?” That was pretty much all it took for Veronica to consider coaching Ali into better defending herself on the stand.

Ali got another visit — from Hanna, whose (newly engaged!) mother gives really good advice. Hanna originally didn’t visit Ali because she felt guilty about what she said to Ali during her last visit. Hanna’s olive branch prompted Alison to apologize for the way she treated her so-called friends all those years. Jail has given her a taste of her own medicine. “Everything’s an order,” Ali said. “I never realized how bad it felt to be on the other side of that.”

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The Liars have absolved Alison, but does she deserve their forgiveness? As Veronica delved deeper into Alison’s file, she came across something that made her call Spencer and order her to stay in London. Let’s hope that Spencer is safe in Wren and Melissa’s apartment, doing deep breathing exercises and eating stale biscuits with Colin.

Lingering questions: Where are Wren and Melissa, really? Will Spencer get into Oxford or did the blood ruin it? What will happen with Aria and Andrew? Where is Mike?

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